lesbian not lesbianing

the terms we use to describe ourselves are exactly that, descriptive, not prescriptive. nobody gets to tell you your gender, your orientation, your identity but you. you are the only person who gets to tell others who you are, and if other people disagree with you then thats their problem not yours.

queerness is such a unique and personal experience that no two people will experience it the same way, and it helps to communicate some basics, but nobody is ever the perfect picturesque shining example of lesbian, or gay, or straight, or whatever. some people want rigid definitions for words, and sure there are plenty of times when that kind of thinking can be helpful. but people are so much more complex than labels.

besides most of these labels and such were created long ago and have changed in meaning so much, our understanding of sexuality is so much more broad than they were even 20 years ago, and i think that we need to keep pushing those boundaries and explore what it truly means to be queer. go do controversial things, inspire others to be themselves, dont take shit from anybody, own it girl <3

omg who has the rope?

I would be rather careful around this one, not accepting you for your body is a big red flag imo, who’s to say this is the only thing they are going to have a problem with?

but gay sex is the best kind of sex

"I'm pro trans but, there are some things I'm not 100% onboard with" is met with "Harsh criticism & Ban" 

its okay to be confused and want to learn, but ignorance is not an excuse for bigotry and most of us gender non conforming folk here are not particularly interested in justifying our existence and rights to the masses. we come here to be ourselves, so we appreciate the efforts of the admins who create a space for us and keep the bigots out. if you get banned from blahaj.zone i can say with reasonable certainty that due diligence was done to ensure it was a transphobe or other bigot, not somebody who does not deserve it.

mavity

the straights are so oblivious you might just have to wear a neon shirt with big blinking letters “were lesbians”

these arent easy questions to answer, and in the end its highly personal. if you feel like you dont have much exposure to gay identities, then why not try and consume some gay media/history and see how it makes you feel, if the experiences you see in such stories resonate with you? if they do try and examine why that is, and think about how things might have changed if the genders were different. one thing to keep in mind is that you dont need to feel compelled to date women to be bisexual, you could simply find yourself attracted to them.

there are no official numbers. but women’s stuff community never reached about 800 members before migration. I’m not saying that every woman is subscribed to that comm, but if it’s any indicator, women are a minority on lemmy. if we look at other communities, the two biggest communities that indicate they are for gendered groups are women’s autism, and men’s liberation. while they both have around the same subscriber count, the men’s liberation comm has twice as many posts and frequently more comments. as for other comms that have some sort of gender distinction, for women never go about 800, whereas men’s ones can each as high as 2.5k users. based off these figures, and my own experiences on lemmy as a woman, I conclude that women are a minority, or seriously unrepresented if they are more present than it appears.

how did you get so smart and wise?

lazy day today, meow meow

the majority of lemmy users are male <3

its their community, they can run it how they please, if it rubs you the wrong way you can feel free to make a competing space instead of simply complaining about it, but i think most will find its harder to moderate than they think, so i say having a hard stance on moderation to ensure quality for a minority is perfectly acceptable imo.

fuck yeah i love to see some dirty kid rep, even better to have trans dirty kid rep