(a spherical teaspoon of white glurp floats past)

“Wot? Wadn’t me.”

John, you’re the only man on board…

“Don’t know wot to tell ya, mate. Said it wadn’t me…”

Space deniers are the bottom of the fucking barrel as far as I’m concerned. I don’t know what it is about them, or how they got so fucking stupid, but there appears to be no limit to their ignorance.

I grew up foraging mushrooms in Michigan, but ever since moving to Alberta I’ve never felt comfortable hunting mushrooms here. I need to go with someone confident who has done it their entire lives. But I did learn recently that a different species of morel actually grows out here. I’m going to try hunting those this year.

I mean… Yeah… This is kind of how it feels here.

Great until the cops are looking for that one Juggalo in Jamestown but you have to represent…

He said ants, not aunts.

What’cha got there, m8?

I never fully grasped the true scale of a single galaxy (and then expanded that understanding to the observable universe) until I hopped in my ship in Elite Dangerous and actually set off to cross one. Holy fucking shit, does it really help put it into perspective when you’re traveling between vast galactic arms, hopping individual stars 50-70 Ly at a time and trying your damndest not to stretch yourself too thin in fear of running out of scoopable fuel/stars.

If I were an Astronomy teacher, Elite would be my most profound and precious tool.

Costco every fucking day…

Bro, I just bought a Roborock a few weeks ago and I love it. I was panic reading these comments until I saw yours and realized it’s a Roborock, not iRobot. Hope our housebots don’t meet the same fate.

Holy fuck, I just looked up the record. Not what I was expecting at all. It looks like one of those 700 lb. people who can’t roll off of their futon. Even the underside is shockingly similar.

Don’t mind if I do!

Those are valid observations. My bet is on a juvenile Great Blue Heron.

Damn… Sandhill Cranes and corn fields really bring me 2,000 miles back home.

(On closer inspection, that may actually be a heron. Can we get a ruling on this one?)

“Holy FUCK, boys! He looks t’ be about a ten footer!”

Years ago I was on 2C-B and lounging about in my brother’s room, staring at a big glowing plastic moon I had bought for him as a joke, when somehow the word and concept of it sent me spiraling down a rabbit hole of cosmic realization. At first the moon (or perhaps my thoughts surrounding the moon) began to rotate like a planetary body, becoming a parent star in a galactic arm, and eventually the central mass of a galaxy itself, ever turning with long tendril arms orbiting around its perimeter.

As the question of it grew, it became the universe itself, on a profoundly metaphysical level, and I came to the realization that every single living organism, both here and elsewhere in the cosmos, are not so much a part or some greater plan or design, but are instead just individual cells and appendages of recently awakened universe. One that has blinked its eyes from a deep sleep and has slowly become self-aware. And just as a child born blind will at some point use their hands and discover they have a body for the first time, we are tiny (but not insignificant) appendages of that universe discovering and exploring itself, trying to make sense or what it even is.

I found immense comfort in the idea that there is no greater meaning to everything than that. We’re just a part of something bigger that is at this very moment trying to make sense of itself, and I don’t need more than that.

You have to really lean in on the words to properly express your italicized voice. You almost have to sound like an asshole. Like a somewhat sarcastic asshole…

Bunch of fuckin’ meep-mops stealing jobs for our hardworking software engineers.

What in the fucking fuck?! is a good one, too. Has some real what in tarnation? energy to it.

I also learned that FUCKING GOD!! is my go-to expletive when I spilled some icecream and my daughter (3 at the time) started yelling it in the car.