We call 'em Rolly-Pollies where I’m from. Much better name.
Girls will have armor plating and have 14 legs
New Halloween group costume idea
Checks out, I’m a girl and I do have 14 legs ! Very proud of my armor plating too, I take good care to keep it super shiny ✨
Wait those lousy things are woodlouse? I’ve been calling em rolly pollies! Aw I look like an idiot
Look at the common names section of the Wikipedia article, they’re called all sorts of things
XDDDD NSFW I almost chocked on my suppressed giggles

Women, amirite?
Edit: I’m being serious. Am I right? Are those women?
Yes. I think it is one of the names for them
any female born after 1983 can’t cook… all they know is leaf litter, curl they shells up, scuttling, lay eggs, eat rotten plant matter and lie
Eat hot rotten plant matter and lie

I mean, exactly half of those are actually true.
“All corners of the globe” and “pre-date the ice age”, obviously, but what’s number three?
The navigation, technically. Building a compass and using it.
No I know a lesbian who can feel magnetic north with her eyes closed (she has some kind of electric implant)
she has some kind of electric implant
Yeeeaaaah, that’s where she got it from. Absolutely, definitely
[They’re onto us, girls. Meet me at the usual.]
[the carbiners are set around the perimiter, word is spreading, as am I, over?]
That wasn’t even one of my guesses, but it makes sense. Flood raft and danger pheromones were my guesses.
It is cute when they curl up into a ball.
What did you do to make them curl up into a ball, David?
David? What did you do?
Lifted the log up.
I looked at it funny
Tickled them with implied consent
Shit, it happened again. I’ll get it right next time, I promise.
Fun fact: woodlice are terrestrial isopods, meaning they share a class (Malacostraca, the second-largest crustacean class after Insecta) with the decapods like crabs, shrimp, etc. Orders Isopoda and Decapoda are far away within the class, but they’re still in there!
Edit: Wait, fuck, is that one girls?
Fun fact: woodlice are terrestrial isopods, meaning they share a class (Malacostraca, the second-largest crustacean class after Insecta) with the decapods like crabs, shrimp, etc. Orders Isopoda and Decapoda are far away within the class, but they’re still in there!
So are you saying we can eat woodlice like we eat crabs?
Supposedly if you boil them they turn pink like shrimp.
I mean I’ve read that the giant marine isopod Bathynomus giganteus is popular in Vietnam, so probably – although there’s probably a good reason beyond scarcity that it’s not a widely popular delicacy. I might be concerned about bioaccumulated heavy metals in terrestrial ones, they’d be highly inefficient to prepare, and I’ve never heard of any culture that eats them. But I’m sure it’d be doable. Just to what end, you know?
Hopefully in one end and out the other.
Hopefully. You don’t want one of those things to latch on
I was 8 when I learnt thoroughly that not everyone wants to switch place with woodlice for a day when waiting for the school bus. 06:45 during an autumn storm would be much better as a woodlouse underneath comfy foliage.
… Go on…
This dude thinking about little girls too much.













