Almost all women [1,008] surveyed in a new Australian study reported encountering harmful behaviour on dating apps, with many taking their own precautions to stay safe.
Unsolicited explicit messages, attempts to monitor activity, love bombing, negging and gaslighting are common experiences on dating apps, according to the study released on Tuesday by the Minderoo Foundation-funded Behaviour Insights Team (BIT).
Researchers say platforms should do more to prevent systemic risks as the federal government considers a digital duty of care.
Consultation on Labor’s proposed digital duty of care closes on Tuesday, with advocates saying it has capacity to curb online abuse.
I’m male, but I was surprised to hear from my dates how low the standard was
This. The number of women who have told me that they are friends with me or went out on a date with me because I was a decent human being surprises me.
Actually, my friend dated someone on meth, who ended up getting murdered. His new gf was murdered too.
So, it’s even worse than bad lol
Literally, sounds like the standard is so low that all a guy needs to do is show up, and not abuse someone
There are two parts of this really and I think I’d be remissed if we gloss over one over the legit fear that women have.
First off: if you are a man (or masc presenting) and you aren’t sensitive to the fact that women don’t feel safe around men in general, then you are part of the problem. A lot of men in this category feel like they are “special” and “not that guy” and even though that may be true there is no way for women to know that without knowing you. So being considerate and honoring whatever boundaries women share with you goes a long way.
Being considerate also means having empathy for the fact that women feel unsafe around men. Take that into account in your approach with women. I always ask “Hey, do you mind if I sit here?” when there is a seat open next to a woman. If she says she minds, move on. Don’t take it personally because it isn’t about you. It’s about her safety and her preference.
Second: I don’t think women do men a kindness by saying that the bar is literally “be a decent human being”. That might get a guy the first date or a conversation, but we all have compatibility personalities. I think a huge part of the problem of incel culture (which, let me be clear, is their problem and not women’s!) is that it is self-fulfilling. Women saying to a specific man “hey, I don’t think we’re a good match” is fine but saying as a whole that all it takes is being “nice” is what gets incels into the whole “but I’m a nice guy™” narrative.
Yes, a guy needs to be a decent person. But the guy you want to date may need to have a beard or have a type B personality or be a good cook or use Arch Linux btw.
Respecting boundaries is a good one.
Crikey, never thought I’d say I’m glad to be a senior living with my cats and the (gentle) wildlife outside the door! It’s worse than a jungle in DateAppland!
I’m recently single and am not planning on “dating” in any way what so ever. I may meet someone through interests. No dating though.
I can understand why.
Same, my partner and I are always so relieved we met in high school so we never had to deal with this.
