Horny cats might randomly bite your ankle (if male) or enrich your nights (and your neighbours’) with the song of their people (if female), but I’ve never seen a cat trying to hump a human (or anything other than another cat).

Dogs? Sure. Endangered New Zealand flightless parrots? Yeah. Once. On video. Cats? Not once.

Is the first one a siamese…?

Extremely chatty critters, those…

Kittens meow to their mothers.

But yeah, cats have evolved to meow in just the right tone that makes us go all “aww, I need to help this cute little varmint, even if it will scratch me for the effort”, so you’ve got a point there.

Because amongst cats grooming is a show of dominance.

Cats have standards.

Mehdi, is that you…?

Thor’s the god of thunder, not lightning.

Indeed it is!

The multi-bear!

Too late.