I start with a couple: knitting and crocheting. They are two of the two most useful things I’ve learned so far, all thanks to my grandmother and one of my aunts. Creating bags to carry things, repairing pants, jackets and backpacks, creating little cushions for my lower back or to support my wrist when I’m in the office, etc.
I still remember with some humor how my grandmother insisted to me that, as a man, I should not be ashamed of knowing how to crochet.
Oddly enough, my sister is the one who doesn’t know how to do either those things lol
Having a barely passable sense of style and cooking, I guess.
Cooking. Maintaining a clean household. I’m the cook/baker and cleaner and I’m male.
It’s absolutely wild that the ability to cry when you need to is considered to be a trait exclusive to women. It’s absolutely essential for a healthy mind, and I’ve gotten quite good at it despite my useless Y chromosome.
it’s not really that it’s a trait exclusive to women, it’s a trait that is beaten out of us (for some of us literally) as we grow up. Different people enforce that onto us for different reasons, and sometimes it is “only women cry” but too often it’s “don’t be weak”
I’ve been working on it for a decade and I still can’t. I can get close when I think about how upset I am that I can’t cry when I’m upset, but I still can’t do it, and I had loving and accepting hippie parents ffs
Yeah, I used to cry constantly as a kid and got so self conscious about it, thinking it’s not something to do as a man or wtv. Now it’s basically impossible to cry when I need it, extremely frustrating
Anytime I visit the vet, if the candle is lit, I’m crying right along with the owners.
We don’t deserve our animals.
I am great with kids, and regularly get the cops called on me for taking my own nieces and nephew to the park
Because male
I’m a woman and the manliest thing I do is woodworking, the husband sews clothes (occasionally from fabrics I weave).
I also do bodybuilding, but that’s hardly masculine anymore, yay!
That’s so cool!
Woodworking is so fun, and it covers an enormous range of activities.
Favorite project?
I’m working on an 8 heddle (the things that make the string go up and down, it determines how complex your pattern can be), 80cm wide loom. They’re about 1200 euros to buy, and I really really want one.
It’s not really working well, tolerances are pretty tight, but I’m pretty motivated.
Best succesful project is probably an armor stand, handmade for husband’s larp armor. Not technically complex, but with a lot of cool hand carving
That sounds awesome! Do you post on woodworking or diy communities?
It’s kind of ridiculous that any skill is gendered.
Or speciated! We share like 50% of the banana genome. Who says I can’t be a delicious source of potassium if I want to.
I know, right?
Men and woman have different mental and physical strengths and weaknesses.
While this is true, there is a considerable amount of overlap between men and women, and a great deal of skills and tasks can be done by either gender.
Of course, but those differences are the root causes of gendered work. It doesn’t get ridiculous, as OP stated, until one says, “Men/women can’t do that!” Or suck at whatever.
There is generally a greater range in the physical capabilities of either sex than there are between the sexes, and in our modern world the number of jobs that require brute strength, those traditionally done by men, are progressively fewer simply due to the benefits of advanced machinery.
As for mental tasks, there are almost none that men or women are better at for any other reason than social programming and, again, in those the variability within the sexes are very nearly as great as those between the sexes.
So, at this point, the biggest reason for gendered tasks is tradition, which is generally the stupidest reason to do anything. So it’s just as ridiculous to bring gender into the task in the first place.
Cooking? Professionally it’s all men. But in most households it’s women
My father in law used to give me a hard time about cooking. I asked him to name one pro female chef (this was almost 25 years ago, there weren’t all that many well known at the time). He couldn’t. He never bothered me about it again.
I was going to come here to say the same thing. So many women I’ve dated are surprised at my cooking because it’s stupidly considered to be a women’s skillset.
They’re probably not surprised because it’s considered to be a woman’s skill so much as they are surprised because most man still don’t do the cooking. You may be the first guy they’ve dated who knew how to.
Very possible. It’s definitely a lot more prevalent now.
Are you dating women in the 60s? Cooking is an incredibly popular skill and hobby these days.
No. I’m in my 40s.
I would say more a hobby. “These days” going for takeout would be considered a skill as most of the time it is Door Dash’d.
I’m a 50 year old dude. Cooking used to be a big one when I was younger, now it’s more accepted. I also do all the clothes and food shopping for our family of five. Even the teen girls of the family ask me for help with hair, makeup and clothes. All that punking around paid off.
It was pretty common where I live for men to knit and crochet. We are traditionally fishermen in a cold climate. If you can knit a net you can knit mittens too.
I arranged the flowers for my wedding.
I’ve always been one that tries to fix before we replace, and that’s lead me to a few things like soldering some loose connectors on electronics, or basic small engine repair like an oil change and installing a spark plug. I like making things so I’ve been slowly expanding my experience levels with various interesting power tools. I can install insulation, mud and sand drywall, stain and refinish furniture, that kind of thing.
However, if I think about things that are truly flipping the script on gender roles, probably the most masculine “skill” I have is the ability to assertively ask for what I want and delegate tasks to others. It seems almost foreign to other women outside of a business context.
This was particularly noticeable when I lived in the American south as a caretaker for a family member. Some of the conservative biddies we had over to visit sometimes would make little passive aggressive snarky comments and the exchange would go something like this.
“Oh, I didn’t know where to put my trash, the bin is just overflowing with garbage so I left it on the counter”
“You’re right, we usually put the trash in the bin in the garage, spare bags are under the sink, just make sure to close the lid when you’re done”
“Oh, uh…” (palpable confusion)
“Thanks for helping out!” (direct eye contact, pleasant smile)
(flustered acquiescence)It would throw them for a loop so hard it was consistently hilarious. They clearly expected me to bashfully apologize or get all defensive or shamed at the state of the house in some pecking order power play. Lol. You brought it up, have fun getting it delegated to you.
Nursing. I can produce milk from my nipples. I haven’t been given a chance to see if it can sustain an infant, but I have asked many times.
You could make cheese!
You’ve asked women to let you nurse their babies? Many times, no less? I think they’re right to not give you the chance
You’d rather let a baby starve than support the miracle of a man acting as nursemaid? I don’t want to criticize you personally, but I don’t like your attitude.
Imagine if both parents could nurse, that would be awesome. Don’t have to prep the titty juice and remember it every time mom’s not around.
Sustain us with your cheese.
Nursing. There is still a stereotype that nursing is a women’s profession, while men are supposed to become doctors.
Doctors seem to have much less of a gender divide than before in defiance of the stereotype, but nursing is still a profession dominated by women.
That one’s really funny to me. Used to be that tending to sick and wounded people was considered a man’s job, because the harsh realities of healthcare were considered too much for the fragile female sensibilities.
I know how to sew enough to mend my clothes. I could probably make a garment from a pattern, if I tried.
Intimacy. Emotional intelligence. Not subscribing to “manliness.”
