Nadya, let’s call her, this girl I liked, became somewhat attached to me and would spend a lot of time with me. She made a joke that I was her husband and that we should get married and live together, which I took as just that: a joke.
We started to hang out more, Nadya would compliment me a lot (I’d do likewise) and we’d help each other with work, but we could never hang out because she had sports. When i was 14, I realized one night I couldn’t stop thinking about her and even had a dream about her. I suddenly found her pretty as hell.
I started questioning whether or not I liked her, and later realized, “Of course I do!”. I also realized she always seemed to treat me slightly differently than others, but I didn’t know if it was because of my autism that everyone bullied me for or because of another reason. She would be very flirty and touchy with most people, for example, but never me. She would smack their butts and call them “hubby” and “wifey”.
She would sometimes be moody, somehow forget when I had partners in the past (she forgot I had a boyfriend), and get especially moody on the subject of romance. I also realized even though she was sad when I broke up with him, she started to compliment me more and be nice after the fact.
She eventually sided with the bullies though and agreed that I was being a creepy stalker, but on the last day of last school year, apologized, smiled at me, and we made up again.
This was a WHILE ago, by the way.
I agree with the others. She was probably into you at least somewhat, but was also too emotionally immature or self repressed to handle it in a healthy way. Definitely not the type of person you’d want to be with.
Thanks :) She also had a lot of internalized homophobia and is a Catholic and would go if someone asked “NO OF COURSE IM NOT GAY!!! WHAT THE HELL??”
It sounds like she believed she liked you, but it also sounds like she likes being accepted by the in-crowd more. Whether or not she liked you, she was clearly horrible to you and that shouldn’t be forgotten
Sometimes people hang out with bullies / engage in bullying because of their own trauma. Not an excuse of course, but it is common.
“Love doesn’t hurt”, meaning someome who truly loves you will not intentionally hurt you.
People of the age you described are not good at expressing themselves, but as you grow into more mature relationships, it should always be that love doesn’t hurt.
Tysm :)
She would also scream at me a lot and hang out with bullies
Dude, no one should ever scream at you without your consent. Don’t let yourself be treated this way, you deserve better
