CW: Sexual mentions (just in case)

Hi. I will admit, we’re pretty young. So, I saw the post about some guy having trouble with his girlfriend, and I thought of our relationship.

My girlfriend always wants to text me, like every 2 seconds, and gets worried if I don’t respond within a minute.

She’s actually very sweet and caring, but she too has trouble paying attention to what I have to say because of her ADHD.

I’m pretty much asexual, I believe, or on the ace spectrum. I probably fit a microlabel (aegosexual, aceflux, etc.) of that, but IDK. I also have trouble saying no, but I’m trying to learn to assert myself.

The thing I feel bad about is that because I have trouble saying no, she probably thinks I’m just a very sexual person. I do enjoy experimenting with sex, but thanks to my low sex drive, not that much.

And it’s more like I just get feelings down there than actually wanting sex.

As much as I love her, though, she’s also pretty… emotional? And because of that, she often blames herself or gets really upset during the times I did say no.

  • ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.mlEnglish
    18·
    3 days ago

    You’d probably be better off hearing from my own partner about this but they don’t have lemmy so I’ll do my best. This really is just something you HAVE to candidly talk about. It can be difficult when you are young and when your relationship is young because emotions are higher but letting yourself be sexually uncomfortable to please them is unhealthy. It’s bad for your relationship and will lead to you feeling uncomfortable with them as you might already be feeling. I’ve been on the receiving end of this and eventually becomes clear that something is off. They can probably tell or will eventually that you aren’t as into it as they are and might blame themself. Having to question whether your partner finds you attractive or wonder if you are just bad at sex can really damage the ego. Talk to them so you don’t have to put youself through sex you don’t want and so they don’t blame themself for you not wanting sex. Communication is everything in a relationship.