Important to note: I have OCD, and I seem to have this obsession with the idea of me being transphobic. I am a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I have known this for years, and I try my best to support everyone. I have a lot of trans friends, I love them a lot, and treat them and see them as I would anyone else.
So, I feel like I’m transphobic. Is there any evidence of this? No. I’ve been a vocal supporter about LGBTQ+ rights for years, including trans rights, but I’ve recently become increasingly anxious at the thought of me being transphobic.
This likely stems from my questioning of my own gender, often times I feel that I am not quite male, maybe that I’m nonbinary or genderfluid. I mentioned this to my nonbinary friend, and they said “you don’t seem nonbinary”. This sent me spiraling, questioning my own gender and identity, and questioning if I was transphobic for believing that I was nonbinary (or possibly genderfluid, as at times I feel very comfortable being male, but at others I feel a lot more feminine).
At some point, I have to accept the fact that this is delusion, but I still really feel like I need guidance/assurance. I do not really know what to do about this.
(ANOTHER WORRY I HAVE is acting so paranoid and making it seem like I think trans people are going to cancel me and ruin my life if I say anything wrong, like a lot of transphobic people claim and act like. This is NOT AT ALL my intention, but I know I probably come off that way.)
Thank you, this is a very kind comment, and it made me smile :)
This logic makes no sense, but I feel like I’m not allowed to be as trans/nonbinary because my nonbinary friend told me I am not. I guess I see them as more of an authority on the matter since they’re actually nonbinary? I do not know. This is not something I believe for anyone else, just myself (I would personally never tell someone that they are not nonbinary because that’s not something I can tell or decide.)
And that’s the beautiful part: nobody can tell you who you are but yourself. If you assign the label of nonbinary to yourself, then you are. What other people say doesn’t change that, and you’re not harming anyone by being you :)
Yes yes yes preach it!!
Don’t forget OP, your friends can be wrong (even if they mean well) and NO one can tell you who you are or what your gender is except for yourself. How you feel inside is valid. If you don’t quite know for sure how you feel yet, that’s also valid. And who knows, they’ll probably come around to the idea of you being nonbinary once you grow more confident in your gender and radiate it into the world in an undeniable fashion 💜💛🤍🖤🩵🤍🩷